Swan Queen's Poetry

Carry me away from my endless dark world
Let me rock, lethargically in hopes arms
Without the cruel knowledge that I shall fall...
Dropped like a flower into water...
Floating and sinking, slowly and painfully.

Walk me away and light my candle.
Emitting a faint glimmer of creamy gold light
Illuminating my fears and banished the nightmares
Without the hurtful whispers that they will return...
And drag me into the depths of personal hell.

Let me drift away, on a sea of tranquility
Cradling me in it constant wave.
Without giving the signs of the storm
Which will capsize my life and sending me spiraling...
Plummeted into pools of my own tears.

Save me from myself, what I want.
From the bl**dy barracks I reside
From the evil mistress, who I so hate (love her too)
She leaves me cold and alone, grabs my soul away...
White and rigid...but not yet d**d

Don't let me float away...
Let me return and put it right...

She walked to the school in a plain grey skirt
Thick tights and long sleeves to disguise her hurt.
With a hole in her heart and her lunch in her hand
She makes her last journey to that torturous land.

She pauses when she sees them standing by the gates
Her mind and her body know what awaits
In a shower of foul names she runs clutching her head
Knowing inside she'd be better off dead.

A sad little girl with a terrible fate
When they find out it will be too late.
They'll deny what they've done even to the one…
Whose lips are sewn and is long, long gone.

The teacher slandered what work she did
And sat her in the shadows where her face was hid.
She didn't want her seen by prying eyes
Eyes which would find the truth in the lies.

That break she sat beneath the trees
With a blade to rid of her disease…
The one that made them all hate her…
Tears flowed and her eyes did blur.

Where she had gone wrong she did not know
But their hate for her did always show.
With a shaking hand she slit her wrist
And knew full well she would not be missed.

They found her lying dead in the grass
Her body frozen where she'd breathed her last.
They said she'd been murdered but no one was named
But didn't it save them from being publicly shamed?

The sad little girl had fulfilled her terrible fate
And now for her it is far too late.
She had taken her life because her spirit was broken
And left this cruel world with her sadness unspoken.

In my hand I hold a rose…
A single rose
A bloodied rose.

Washed with sapphires from my eyes
Salty sapphires
Wet and cold.

Thorns…they tear my hand
They rip my hand
They hurt…they hurt…

But inside my body more thorns grow
They cover my heart in brambles
And prick where they hurt most.

Outside 'they' throw more thorns
'They' throw more stingers.
To scar my face and scar my soul.

Dirty angels…fallen angels
'Dirty whore…filthy whore'
No friends no more…no more, NO MORE!

Time won't stop it
Stops where it hurts…gives me the rose
Leave me be, let me go.

In my hand I hold that rose
That single rose
That bloodied rose.

In death I feel alive
So sad
My suicide.

Leave me
Let me bleed
Till sleep engulfs me.

I cut away my pain
Watch the blood stain…
The carpets where I will fall.

Nothing left for me
Death is now reality
Kill me…kill me now.

I must endure the torment
Until I finally…
Tear myself to pieces.

They stand around watching
Watching me die…
Finally I succumb.

My suicide.

Haunted by past dark days
Stirring and unsettled
Restless and hurting.
In me he is there
Taking me more every day.

He raped my mind
Tore my soul.
Hunts me by night
And hates me by day.
I have let him bring me down.

Always watching
Always waiting
Until the time I let him win
Then I will be nothing…
His and his alone.

Darkness embraces me
I feel the winter.
Why can't I fight?
Instead I drown…
In cold Promethean fire.

My battle is half lost and won
I have fallen and he has triumphed.
He took my innocence
And stole my heart
And angry and violent devoured my spirit.

To give to her a feather kiss
Deep in the forest with a blue bell mist
T'would be such a sweet sweet blessing
Hiding away from all our worldly stressing.

But all I long to do is die
Away from this world may soul may fly.
But my heart would be torn to see her weep
Over my body...drowned in sleep.

From her lips drips poisoned honey
Thick and bitter.
She claws at the window of my soul
Shattering the glass.
Tearing like a demon at my heart...
Watching it pump away crimson red diamonds.
In my heads she takes my thoughts
Using and abusing them.
Stabbing relentlessly at me
Until I am sick with fear...
And want what she wants.
I am her mother...I brought her to life
My child...evil..but it's my own fault...
I should have seen...
Corpses have demonic children...

Sitting alone...
All on my own
Rotting away...
Urban decay
Thinking hard...
Of living and loving

And I said a little prayer
I said a little prayer
For all of you out there...

Hurting and needing...
Tired and bleeding
Angry and sad...
Insane and mad
Waiting...
Just waiting

So I said a little prayer
I said a little prayer
For all of you out there...

Praying...
and learning
Praying...
and turning...

My head to the sky and waiting for my prayer to be answered...

Waiting now...
Just waiting...

I want the pain to end
To fall into slumber deep
Forever and ever sleep
Banish the evil side
AKA suicide.

Beauty passed me by
No brains have I
Take me away
Hide away forever and a day
AKA suicide.

I can't fight alone
I don't want to be alone
I want my family
I want my joys
AKA life.

She was a woman no one could talk to
She was a loner with no one around her.
She was inside a child who no one knew.
In her sleep no one would here her stir
No one here her cry
No one come to her when she wept.
Because of that she took the razor with a sigh
Hid it under her pillow while she slept.
And in her sleep killed herself
Coz the voices told her too.
No one cried at her funeral
No one needed to
Because she was the woman/child
That no one really knew.

Those rubies, so bright...so red
They come from inside my throat
From my leg.
Softly trickling down unmarked skin
Leaving snail trails from torn flesh.
Where will they come from next...
I don't know, don't want to.
They are going to hurt
They leave invisible marks
When they've been washed away.
They will will never go, always stay.

I suffer in silence
I want freedom from pain.
But in life that is to much to ask.
I ache to be claimed
By the shadows of the graveyard.
Thrust into eternal darkness...
Still I shall never be pain free.

Sleep sleep forever sleep
Locked in constant slumber deep
Away from all worldly pain
Away from the drying ruby stain.
Sleep sleep forever sleep
Locked in constant slumber deep.

There's a part of me who isn't me
A part who only I can see
So if this part of me isn't me
Then who is she?

There's another part who isn't me
But friendly and tender is she
"Step into the light
Keep up the fight."

These parts of me who are not me
Confuse and hurt
Because if they are not a part of me
Then...who am I?

She had a little box
And locked away within
Were all the things that hurt her
All her worldly sin.
Now this tiny little box
Was never ever seen
It was kept close to her heart
Silently drifting round
Never to be opened.
But sometimes this little box
Pricks the beating heart.
Hurting it
Making it suffer.
Making her cry about all the wrong in the world
And the wicked cards fate has dealt her.

Silently shifting
Something inside is quietly lifting
The top of my heart to get inside
And slowly start eating me alive.

Like a virus she spreads
From my heart to my head
With a voice like a knife
She makes me wish I were dead

Throw me away and get rid of the key
Black all the windows so no one can see me
Leave me in the gloom of a foul smelling tomb
And let her slowly eat me alive.

NOTE: Capital's is my other person speaking and normal is me.

I sit in the shallow pools of fear
Cold and alone, I bleed
There is only one voice I hear
Not the one I want or need.

I AM THE DUSK
A FOUNDATION IN STONE
DIVINITY AND LUST
YOUR FRIEND AND YOURS ALONE.

I am on the brink of insanity
Tearing my arms to get rid of her
For the good of all humanity
Let me fall and never stir...

IN YOUR UNHAPPY FORTUNE
DEATH WILL NEVER FREE YOU
EVEN IN HELL'S TORTURE AND GLOOM
I WILL BE THAT TO HURT TOO.

Kept in chambers deep
I am martyred to teach
That freedom and happiness
Are forever forbidden to meet.

I lie in the graveyard by moonlight
The coffin holds me tight.
I went too deep
And fell into eternal sleep
And now I weep.

I lie crying in my coffin
Banished for my sin.
No good for Heaven, not good for Hell
Where will I go? Only time will tell.
Waiting for the answer, Dusk speaks to me.

A jewel more radiant than the sun
A prize so beautiful but can't be won.
Speaking softer than the sea
Dusk lowers her mask to me
"Come to me and fall into my embrace"

To her my ghost has run
In her grasp I am undone
Over her I have no control
Slowly, she destroys my soul.
Dusk has a wicked embrace.

The moon hangs like a wicked picture
Death is dancing
Wolves are howling.
Now this tragedy starts
With a shattered torn heart
While the clock chimes midnight.

Chime 1

Out I flew on winter winds
A white ghost
In a heaving fog.
Through groaning trees
Through screaming heavens
Lit by only death.

Chime 2

Tattered wings and tattered feathers
It hurts to go on
It hurts to fly
I cannot think
I want to die.
Let me douse the stars luminosity!

Chime 3

The moon sinks behind a veil
Of cloud, invisible in the sky.
Come my tortured mind
Forsake my now!
My pleas fall on deaf ears
I must go on.

Chime 4

A bitter thing, I seek new meaning
To me life when I see...
A hunter down below me...
His eyes full of despair and misery.
Those hands they shield a gun.
Fire my soulless hunter!

Chime 5

A new birthmark of cinders
The moon a ringmaster of slaughter
This bitter night
Will now release me
Soon pain will end
I will be free!

Chime 6

We are halfway there
My wings do not carry me further
The wind throws me toward my doom.
I see a light
A light so bright
But it has come to soon.

Chime 7

The grass if an exotic stain beneath me
Amidst the weeping willows.
My feet as wet with their rainbow tear.
I landed skyclad
In a dark new world
Pain and sorrow is what I feel.

Chime 8

The angels are falling like guillotines
Racing heaven of of focus.
Yes! I wanted to die
If that a sin?
If it is I am guilty
Hand me over to him.

Chime 9

I am lost to love
In mighty despair
I watch the trees
They merely stare.
They'll corrupt my corpse
When I am gone.

Chime 10

A Queen of snow
A Midian nightmare
I dance alone, unshamed
A dance of the weak
A dance of the dying
A ebony dream

Chime 11

I sink to my feather clad side
Rocking myself in the cold
Forgive me my Father
Guide me my Father
Take me to the light
Forgive me for I have sinned.

Chime 12...Final Moments.

Cold and wet, helpless and defeated
Hold me...help me...
I see the light again
All my sorrows are drowned.
I drift away...far away
My eyes never open again.

So ends the pitiful reign of the swan
Her time was blinded
By the abusive hunter and her weak self
But oh, no tears please
For the pain that accompanied her death
Is no more, she is safe.

Rubies dripping from my lips
Raining like tears down my neck
Sparkling softly
Torn flesh glows with them.
Shattered like vase
I lie down on a bed of feathers
No longer with you
The rubies keep flowing
Tickling, twinkling.
They have run away
Like the love I used to know.

NOTE: Capital's is my emotion speaking and normal is me.

DO AS I SAY
YOUR BODY IS MINE, I OWN YOU
NO ONE CAN HELP, NO ONE CAN SAVE
YOU ARE MINE.

I will be your slave
Chained and degraded
Shamed and beaten.
Your burnt hands bring me to you.

TAKE THE BLADE
REALISE YOURSELF
LET ME RUB THE RUBIES
OVER YOUR UGLY BODY, MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL.

I am yours, only yours
My golden God, my hurtful hunter.
Hold my hand and drag me down
Let me fall.

DO AS I SAY.

And I will be your slave.